Honours Board

Here we honour those of Walrus old who have committed great feats of athletic prowess or otherwise been generally good eggs

 

In this section we recognise the efforts of the strongest among us – on the bike, the road, in the water or with the pen! Awards are presented at the end of year dinner after the Sexy Walrus Triathlon. A brief summary of the key awards is as follows, though these change from year to year.

Fastest Walrus

This is the most coveted of the prizes, the winner of which becomes designated as ‘Sir Walrus’ for the coming year. It goes to the walrus – male or female, pig or elite – who is the fastest against the clock at the end of season triathlon. There is also a sub-award ne’er spoken of for anyone whose fastest walrus time beats that of Jonny.
WHITE FANG

The slowest of all competitors on a given year, White Fang is at the same time the most shameful yet honourable of the awards. The mantle passes from year to year to the slowest competitor at the end of season triathlon, who must then open the following year’s race by heading off first into the murky water. After which the rest of the competitors are unleashed to hunt White Fang down.
The Grundlethorpe Award for Walrus Excellence

This award goes to the walrus that has most greatly embodied and imparted the spirit of the Sexy Walrus Triathlon and Adventure Club over the preceding season, both in life and in competition. Winning it requires great character as well as great racing feats, hence it is the most honourable of the prizes to win.
Category Winners

The winners of each category – Pig, Cucumber, Slug, Monster, Beast, Seal Elite, Jonny – get a prize to congratulate them on their award, as well as a real telling off for lying about their predicted time in the run up to the triathlon.
Fastest Female Walrus

This award goes to the fastest female walrus at the SW Annual Inter-club Tri
Best Performance

The athlete that produces the best individual performance at an event during the year.
Best event report

This is one of the most coveted awards. It usually needs to contain a mixture of prose and poetry, combined with a novel narrative usually involving near death followed by a glorious recovery.

Club Honours

Below we recognise the efforts of the strongest among us – on the bike, the road, in the water or with the pen! Awards are presented at the end of year dinner after the Sexy Walrus Triathlon.

Inter-Club Triathlon

2013

2014

2015

2016
Fastest Walrus Jonny Jonny Ian B Graeme Goosebeard
WHITE FANG Duncan L Anthony Tim E Ed Cod
Walrus Excellence Ian B William Katharine Ian Bayley
Seal Elite WINNER Jonny Ian B Goosebeard
Sea Beast WINNER Eddie Olivier Henry H
Sea Monster WINNER Dr Cox Tim S Ed English
Sea Cucumber WINNER William Matthew M Keir O
Sea Slug WINNER N/A Tom D Tim S
Sea Pig WINNER Tim S Anthony Ian ‘Big Balls’ B

 

Hall of Walrus Fame

Iron Walrus
Half Iron Walrus
Representation and achievement
2013 IM Kalmar:

  • Henry
  • Dr Cox
2014 IRONKAT:

  • Jonny
  • Jonny – GB Age group qualifing time at IRONKAT
2015 IM Cozumel:

  • Eddie
  • Ian B
 Wasdale:

  • Eddie
  • Ian B
  • Roman
  • Caspar
  • Graeme – Representing GB age group at world championships in Chicago
  • Caspar – Representing GB at UCI World Amateur Road Race in Aalborg.
  • Sammon – 3rd female at All Nations Trithalon
  • Sammon – 1st in category at Cotswold Tri
2016  

  • Holly and Graeme Goosebeard – the Lakesman
  • Holly Goosebeard going from ‘zero to ironman’.
  • Graeme Goosebeard – 3rd place at the Slateman
  • Caspar Crab-hands – completing the North Coast 500.
  • Ian Barnacles and Salmon Sammon – the Dart 10K swim